By: Lindsay Hogg
While travelling I wasn’t always awake in time for the typical ‘free coffee and breakfast” in hostels. I never cared much about the stale bread they put out, but they seemed quite annoyed when I would get up 30 minutes after breakfast ended and order coffee.
Alas, at home, I have an unlimited amount of coffee and I can drink it whenever I mutha fucking want! The downside to this is that I now have people constantly yapping at me from the minute I wake up until my first cup of java is done.
FUUUCCCCKKKKKKK
I’m gonna start waking up at 6am so I can ask those assholes shit loads of stupid questions before they’ve had coffee. WORD.
I also love driving and having my car which allows me to escape whenever I want. I drive around aimlessly, often with friends and coffee just to get away for a while. I usually need to get away because someone asked me a stupid question while I was trying to have my morning coffee… hint HINT.
No seriously, I don’t do drugs.
As I mentioned in PART 1. I love pizza. So it may come as a shock to you that I also love vegetables (yes, I said it you silly bastards) I. LOVE. Vegetables! And they are not easy to come by while travelling, which makes me a sad panda.
For the record, I love all vegetables but onions, because onions are Satan’s fruit. (That didn’t make sense, but I’m just trying to emphasize how much I hate onions). I don’t even know if Satan eats fruit? Does he? I have a friend who has a beard like Jebus…
BLAH onions.
This superific post is the second to an ongoing series of things I love about home. PART 1 did so well and made me feel like such a non-failure that I started a whole website with poorly drawn, random comics. If you don’t suck, check it out. Fine, even people who suck can check it out… I’m feeling generous today. You’re welcome.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I do not understand peoples love of onions.. THEY ARE DISGUSTING!!!!
Any vegetables which make your hands stink for a week after touching them should be gotten rid of.
I know right? I also have issues with cutting up garlic… although I enjoy it… it makes my hands smell! BLAH
Onions (along with needles) are my nemesis. Yesterday I ordered a pizza that someone obviously went freestyle on, and it came to my table with red onion on … eew, rough! Back to the kitchen you go devil food and bring me what I actually ordered. I will not eat ‘satans fruit’.
True story, just thought i’d share.
UGH. I would have been quite upset too… I tell people I’m allergic to them sometimes to enhance the fact that i WILL NOT eat them!
I read this before my morning coffee and I still love it! You crack me up.
Excellent! I always read comics and humor sites with my morning coffee. Starts my day on the right note.
hogga you make me laffffffffffff! and p.s. i just sent my salad back in the coffee shop i’m in cuz i said no onions and they didn’t listen so i had to punish them. p.s. also from the devil? mayonaisse- ewwwww. seriously, you are one talented girly. i’m tellin’ everyone.
GOOD. They deserve to be punished. You should have thrown the onions at them. HAHA I’m just kidding, that would be so mean. Rainbows and love all around.
Thanks, I’m talented and homeless
pee. ess. i just shared this on my facebook wall with the message “Hogga makes me laugh so hard i pee. you’ll pee too. if you want to pee read this
” i knows how much you LOVE pee Hogga!
I just added you as a friend on FB… I want to see proof haha
Just kidding, I just want to inappropriately poke you.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is me, about to have another tea vs coffee futile argument with you and then I am blown out of the water – you also hate Satan’s fruit!! I DESPISE them! And they are in everything wtf!? Me, you and Nicole should start a revolution!
I felt SO alone in my onion hating. And I… I-I-just feel so good to know there’s other like me out there.
Dude, where were you traveling that you couldn’t find vegetables? I lived off the veggies and fruits in Latin America.
And I love my morning coffee too. I heart the hostels that have free coffee all day (as long as it’s not that instant shit).
Haha… I found a lot of fruit places I was traveling, but had major issues finding vegetables to be honest.
And I’m not big on instant coffee, but I’ll take what I can get for the sake of my sanity
Sometimes, when I’m at home, I have onions wrapped in mayonnaise. And it’s magic.
GET OFF MY BLOG!
Awesome. Whenever I’m home, my family also likes to talk at me at completely inappropriate times — like before coffeee… or while I’m watching TV… or when I’m really focusing on something like eating stuff. Then they get annoyed with me because I don’t answer or grunt or storm off. Oh, family. I love them, but they kind of make me want to kill them sometimes.
LOL love it!!!
Hogga, are you sure you’re not on drugs!
No, I am not sure. But I do know one thing, rainbows are awesome.
I concur it can be very difficult finding veggies in Latin America, spinach does not exist and broccoli is a treat.
I missed broccoli SO much… I got asparagus in a BA restaurant once. It was quite exciting other than the fact it was kinda over cooked and mushy.
GOD I MISS VEGGIES.
Our host family looked at me weird when they prepared a salad and I screamed, “VERDURAS!” in delight.
I KNOW! HAHA… it’s so exciting isn’t it?
i like your style. keep the hilarious drawing going please. they make my day less crappy.
Well thank you! Does someone have a case of the Thursday’s? lol
I don’t do tha cawfee, but I do take a while to wake up in the morning. My mum used to like to torture me (damned morning person) be being Extra Chipper. “GOOD MORNING, LITTLE ONE!” ***HUGE-ISMO GRIN*** “RISE AND SHINE!” ***OPENS DOORS AND WINDOW SHADES*** “TIME FOR SCHOOL!”
…upon further reflection, my mom was not chipper. She was a sadist.
Anyway, totally sympathize with the lack o’ privacy, quiet, and basic amenities. Hoping all the cool post-coffee stuff you got to see on the road made up for it.
hahahah I want to come play at your brewery!
I love these posts. haha
More to come soon!
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